31.8.09

my conversation about love

this is my conversation about love with my student sometimes ago who was somehow lost in the name of love. she demanded me not to make it public, but i can't help myself of sharing it, since i think it would be usefull somehow. well.. i'm not a love expert. so please enjoy "our" conversation :)
note: this is not a real conversation but a series of text massages.

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mam, could you share your love story with me?
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mmm.... what to begin with??
well, let me text u my story

my first love was my childhood friend ( though at that time, i couldn't define what love is)
as time went by so did my love

the second time i felt the love was in junior high
as time passed by... i said him goodbye

what i remember the most was when i felt the love for someone in college..
i didn't realized that i love that someone until i felt a broken heart of mine when he told me that he was engaged

all the love i felt, were all just feeling
means that i never had any commitment or relationship or anything sort of..

i just felt them in me, and never let the object of my affection knew about.

so many times i'd been a secret admirer for someones, in many different ways, times and places.
some i remember, some i don't
some last long enough, some just passing by..

so, when i said " I do" to my husband, i told him that i'll try to love him as long as i can...
coz i know that there'll be times when my heart still beating but it stop loving him...

coz i belive that there's no forever or always...
coz time change and the poeple as well..
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dear madam

well,such a nice story.
may i ask u?(i hope u dont mind,)

when u'r in college how'd u mend ur broken arrow?it's always hard mendin broken rite?

then how'd u make sure that mr.right is him.?how'd u unsure urself that the feelin inside is true?he is the one..

which 1 is better affection or love?what if we'r just so damn scare to feel it.

answer me madam.
im waiting.

gracias!
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well
sometimes you break your heart, unbreak it, then break it again
it's the nature
how can you feel love, if you never feel a broken heart
coz they're intertwined :)

i did have days full of tears and misery
but somehow i managed myself to recover
i still have my faith

the reason why i never hurt myself so much
is because i never let my heart too much in love

and about my husband
i never knew that he is the right one
until i heard my mom said "barakallah..."
on my wedding day...

and even until know
in every moment i still try to convince myself that i marry mr.right
coz i believe my love for him, his love for me, our marriage
are not result, but a life time process
so we need to keep trying staying in love for the rest of our life
when we stop trying, then everything will stop as well

it's ok if you're scared
but love will come to you in anyway
and you can't deny, or run, or hide
and when your time has come
just enjoy the moment
you must live your life

as for love or affection
i can't see any differences between them
can you??

-xoxo-
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well mom. please define me bout barakallah means!grateful or something?

how'd u empower ur self from being drowned in the pool of love. everything seems so uncontrol there.u cant even control urself.seem so borderless when we r in terribly in love

mom,how'd u ease the pain when becme a secret lover of smebody?do everyone on the earth deserve mr or ms rite for his or her live? how'd u recognize that?
it's like story begins with clueless endingdoes everyone look so right in the eyes of mr or ms.right?

we r just like a cast of noname show.huff..
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well, when we start a discussion with the topic is love
then it will end as an endless discussion :)

baarakallahu laka (semoga Allah mengaruniakan barakah kepadamu)
wa baarakaallahu 'alaika (semoga Allah mengaruniakan barakah atasmu)
wa jama'a bainakumaa fii kahiir (semoga Allah menghimpun kalian berdua dalam kebaikan)
it's a pray for the newlyweds.

if you have read the story of Ali and Fatimah, you'll amazed on how Ali loved Fatimah so secretly yet sacred and pure. that's why i loved being a secret lover until i get married and declare my love only for my husband. which is "halal" for me.

do you love to watch dorama, korean drama, hollywood romantic movie, or even bollywood movie?
well, if you do, then it won't surprise me that you have certain point of view about love and being in love framed by the idea of love based on those work of arts :)

when i was your age, i might have the same point of view toward love. and i've also involved in what so called "lost in love". but as you get older, you get wiser.

earlier today, i read a review of book entitled "women who love too
much" by Robin Norwood.
it said that too much love is a self destructive behavior.so don't be :)

instead of answering all your question, i'd rather suggest you to read "agar bidadari cemburu padamu" by Salim A. Fillah.
and i also recommend you to be more familiar with mizan's writer point of veiw about love and marriage life.
hope you don't mind. coz i just want you to get the answer from the right source. since i need to learn a lot more myself.

just remember, you must love yourself before you love someone else.
make yourself right, then you'll find the right match.
make yourself good, then you'll find a good match.
make yourself better, then you'll find a better match.
make yourself best, then you'll find the best match.

"lelaki yang baik adalah untuk perempuan yang baik..."

the right person will come at the right place and time.
just do your part and let God takes the rest.

good luck. LOL

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