my conversation about love

this is my conversation about love with my student sometimes ago who was somehow lost in the name of love. she demanded me not to make it public, but i can't help myself of sharing it, since i think it would be usefull somehow. well.. i'm not a love expert. so please enjoy "our" conversation :)
note: this is not a real conversation but a series of text massages.

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mam, could you share your love story with me?
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mmm.... what to begin with??
well, let me text u my story

my first love was my childhood friend ( though at that time, i couldn't define what love is)
as time went by so did my love

the second time i felt the love was in junior high
as time passed by... i said him goodbye

what i remember the most was when i felt the love for someone in college..
i didn't realized that i love that someone until i felt a broken heart of mine when he told me that he was engaged

all the love i felt, were all just feeling
means that i never had any commitment or relationship or anything sort of..

i just felt them in me, and never let the object of my affection knew about.

so many times i'd been a secret admirer for someones, in many different ways, times and places.
some i remember, some i don't
some last long enough, some just passing by..

so, when i said " I do" to my husband, i told him that i'll try to love him as long as i can...
coz i know that there'll be times when my heart still beating but it stop loving him...

coz i belive that there's no forever or always...
coz time change and the poeple as well..
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dear madam

well,such a nice story.
may i ask u?(i hope u dont mind,)

when u'r in college how'd u mend ur broken arrow?it's always hard mendin broken rite?

then how'd u make sure that mr.right is him.?how'd u unsure urself that the feelin inside is true?he is the one..

which 1 is better affection or love?what if we'r just so damn scare to feel it.

answer me madam.
im waiting.

gracias!
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well
sometimes you break your heart, unbreak it, then break it again
it's the nature
how can you feel love, if you never feel a broken heart
coz they're intertwined :)

i did have days full of tears and misery
but somehow i managed myself to recover
i still have my faith

the reason why i never hurt myself so much
is because i never let my heart too much in love

and about my husband
i never knew that he is the right one
until i heard my mom said "barakallah..."
on my wedding day...

and even until know
in every moment i still try to convince myself that i marry mr.right
coz i believe my love for him, his love for me, our marriage
are not result, but a life time process
so we need to keep trying staying in love for the rest of our life
when we stop trying, then everything will stop as well

it's ok if you're scared
but love will come to you in anyway
and you can't deny, or run, or hide
and when your time has come
just enjoy the moment
you must live your life

as for love or affection
i can't see any differences between them
can you??

-xoxo-
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well mom. please define me bout barakallah means!grateful or something?

how'd u empower ur self from being drowned in the pool of love. everything seems so uncontrol there.u cant even control urself.seem so borderless when we r in terribly in love

mom,how'd u ease the pain when becme a secret lover of smebody?do everyone on the earth deserve mr or ms rite for his or her live? how'd u recognize that?
it's like story begins with clueless endingdoes everyone look so right in the eyes of mr or ms.right?

we r just like a cast of noname show.huff..
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well, when we start a discussion with the topic is love
then it will end as an endless discussion :)

baarakallahu laka (semoga Allah mengaruniakan barakah kepadamu)
wa baarakaallahu 'alaika (semoga Allah mengaruniakan barakah atasmu)
wa jama'a bainakumaa fii kahiir (semoga Allah menghimpun kalian berdua dalam kebaikan)
it's a pray for the newlyweds.

if you have read the story of Ali and Fatimah, you'll amazed on how Ali loved Fatimah so secretly yet sacred and pure. that's why i loved being a secret lover until i get married and declare my love only for my husband. which is "halal" for me.

do you love to watch dorama, korean drama, hollywood romantic movie, or even bollywood movie?
well, if you do, then it won't surprise me that you have certain point of view about love and being in love framed by the idea of love based on those work of arts :)

when i was your age, i might have the same point of view toward love. and i've also involved in what so called "lost in love". but as you get older, you get wiser.

earlier today, i read a review of book entitled "women who love too
much" by Robin Norwood.
it said that too much love is a self destructive behavior.so don't be :)

instead of answering all your question, i'd rather suggest you to read "agar bidadari cemburu padamu" by Salim A. Fillah.
and i also recommend you to be more familiar with mizan's writer point of veiw about love and marriage life.
hope you don't mind. coz i just want you to get the answer from the right source. since i need to learn a lot more myself.

just remember, you must love yourself before you love someone else.
make yourself right, then you'll find the right match.
make yourself good, then you'll find a good match.
make yourself better, then you'll find a better match.
make yourself best, then you'll find the best match.

"lelaki yang baik adalah untuk perempuan yang baik..."

the right person will come at the right place and time.
just do your part and let God takes the rest.

good luck. LOL

aneh

ilang semua

nick names

iseng-iseng tidak berhadiah di bulan ramadhan.
mumpung lagi gag puasa, mo usil sama teman-teman tercinta.
inilah ke usilanku yang terpublikasi... atau sebenarnya dipublikasi  :)

berikut adalah ide usil yang muncul melihat tingkah polah teman2 seperjuangan yang selalu giat bekerja
meski ramadhan datang dan pergi
meski THR lama datang dan cepat pergi ..hehe..

nick name for the love ones

• miss Anis:  Manies ... (yang ini terpaksa soalnya waktu nulis posting ini aku gag pake helm....hehe)
• miss Diana: Dimana??? .. (untuk teman yang semangat menimba ilmu di sumur pendidikan... soalnya ... gitu deh... hehe...)
• miss Gina: One stop shopping (mo beli apa aja pasti ada, dari musim mangga mpe musim rambutan... haha)
• miss  Nani: Jalabiya (orang ini yang membuat satu kantor jadi addicted to jalabiya, halah halah... kok selera purba brasa kota yah...???? )
  
• miss Nunung: Money Money Money.. (semua orang pasti berbinar klo miss nunung bawa2 amplop n pulpen pas tanggal 1 atau tanggal 16... ayo jangan lupa nulis absen ya...)
  
• miss Uzhmah: misused (klo ada emergency call, pasti beliau ini yang selalu siap sedia sampai kadang2 bisa disalah gunakan....)
• miss Ika: missing.. (berdasarkan pengamatan, beberapa kali janjian kami kehilangan miss ika di jam-jam keberangkatan karena beliau berada di daerah waktu berbeda alias telat ..haha)
  
• miss Mia: mistake (gara2 dia bikin kesalahan dalam hal bunyi-bunyian, terjadi kekacauan di tempat kerja....)
• mr. firman: Mr. Universe (sebagai satu-satunya perjaka di sarang perawan, aku yakin suatu hari nanti dia bakal berubah gelarnya jadi Miss Universe... hehe)

piss.... ah.... semuanya ....
no hard feeling...
kan lagi puasa... jadi musti sabar.... sabar...
orang sabar, nyengirnya lebar.....
haha...
love you all..

i loved you, i love him

menyusuri dunia maya hanya untuk menemukan jejak-jejak cinta yang kau tuliskan atas nama nya.
sebersit ku iri hati.
masih ingat kah kau pada ku. pada rasaku.
bahwa kau pun pernah meninggalkan jejak-jejak cinta atas namaku.
bahwa aku pernah merasakan sakitnya jatuh dalam cinta kepadamu.
kini banyak hal berubah.
kau menggoreskan tinta cinta atas dunia untuk dia.
dan aku, telah terikat janji sampai mati pada seorang suami atas nama cinta dan taqwa.
bertahun berlalu.
tapi kadang aku rindu pola deklarasi cintamu.
yang begitu vokal,
rangkaian kata-kata verbal yang meyakinkan.
mereka menggema dunia
pada orang-orang
pada hati mereka
pada telinga mereka
dengan lantang berteriak betapa kau cinta aku
dulu
pernahkah bertanya mengapa kau begitu suka berbagi dengan dunia tentang rasamu?
apakah dengan begitu kau merasa lebih yakin?
atau lebih cinta?
atau sekedar ria semata?
tapi itulah dirimu.
beberapa waktu lalu, aku pernah mencintaimu
kini
kau masih dirimu yang suka berbagi dengan dunia tentang rasamu
tentang cinta kepada nya bukan ku.
kini
aku berbagi hidup dengan orang yang mencintaiku
dengan sederhana
cintanya begitu senyap
namun memenuhi seluruh duniaku
dia tidak pernah berteriak pada dunia
hanya sedikit berbisik kepadaku
hanya meyakinkan ku tentang cinta itu
dia tidak melukiskan kata-kata dalam laman-laman yang bisa diakses dunia maya
tapi dia meninggalkan jejak dalam setiap detik nyataku
aku menemukan catatan cintanya dalam pembatas buku-buku pernikahan yang kami baca
aku merasakan cintanya dalam setiap sentuhan asa kami berdua
aku membaca cintanya dalam setiap pesan yang terkirimkan saat malam dan pagi menjelang
begitulah dia mencintaiku
begitu senyap bagi dunia
begitu riuh memenuhi jiwaku
begitu intim
begitu dekat
begitu hangat
begitu nyata
dan
ketika cintamu kembali bergaung di dunia maya
aku menggenggam erat nyataku bersamanya
i loved you
i love him
i'll love him


XXXooo
deedee