new year, new life???

Another year has gone.
A new year comes.
Since i've done many bad decisions in the past year, i decided to live my life differently in the next year to come.
I want to be a different person, i want to live a new life.

But, can I?

With all the doubts and ugly thoughts, i start to plan and act for preparing my new life.
I change my name, and put a new one.
I sell my house, and buy a new one. As well as my car.
I quit my job, and apply for a new one.
I leave my home town, and live in a new one.
I say good bye to my old friends, and i say hi to the new ones.

Well, now i'm ready for a new life.

But, can I?

I wake up in a new morning, inside my new bedroom.
I drive my new car to my new office.
I say hi to my new friends who calling me with my new name.

But I dont feel a new ME.
I'm still ME.
There's nothing new in me.
The beating heart inside me is still the same.
The breathing lung inside me is still the same.

I still have the same hands, the same feet, the same eyes, the same ears, and when i look at the mirror i still smile and cry in the same way as i always do.

Indeed
i live in a new town, with new job, new car, new name, new friends, but i am me.

Then,

i realize that no matter how hard i try, i can't get a new life.
No matter how ruin my life is, i can't get a new one and leave the old behind.
I have to FIX it.

So, here i am
i am still me
living my life
fixing it.