rain of june

heran karena cuaca yang semakin tak menentu. meski sudah bulan juni tapi masih saja sering hujan. lebih baik mensyukuri segala yang ada dengan indah. seperti indahnya puisi ini:

tak ada yang lebih tabah dari hujan bulan juni
dirahasiakannya rintik rindunya kepada pohon berbunga itu

tak ada yang lebih bijak dari hujan bulan juni
dihapusnya jejak-jejak kakinya yang ragu-ragu di jalan itu

tak ada yang lebih arif dari hujan bulan juni
dibiarkannya yang tak terucapkan diserap akar pohon bunga itu

Nothing is tougher than the rain of June.

It keeps its own little miss to that flowered tree.

Nothing is wiser than the rain of June.

It vanishes its own foot traces which was doubtful along the way.

Nothing is more kind than the rain of June.

It lets what was untold absorbed by that flowered tree.

" hujan bulan juni by Sapardi Djoko Damono "

 

all grown ups

Sejak kecil nge fans sama Sherina

sampai sekarang pun  masih nge fans sama Sherina

all grown ups.......

the blind side

my favorite movie of the year.

Plot summary:

Based on the true story of Leigh Anne and Sean Tuohy who take in a homeless teenage African-American, Michael "Big Mike" Oher. Michael has no idea who is father is and his mother is a crack head. Michael has had little formal education and few skills to help him learn. Leigh Anne soon takes charge however, as is her nature, ensuring that the young man has every opportunity to succeed. When he expresses an interest in football, she goes all out to help him, including giving the coach a few ideas on how best to use Michael's skills. They not only provide him with a loving home, but hire a tutor to help him improve his grades to the point where he would qualify for an NCAA Division I athletic scholarship. Michael Oher was the first-round pick of the Baltimore Ravens in the 2009 NFL draft. Written by garykmcd

memorable quotes:

Michael Oher: Courage is a hard thing to figure. You can have courage based on a dumb idea or mistake, but you're not supposed to question adults, or your coach or your teacher, because they make the rules. Maybe they know best, but maybe they don't. It all depends on who you are, where you come from. Didn't at least one of the six hundred guys think about giving up, and joining with the other side? I mean, valley of death that's pretty salty stuff. That's why courage it's tricky. Should you always do what others tell you to do? Sometimes you might not even know why you're doing something. I mean any fool can have courage. But honor, that's the real reason for you either do something or you don't. It's who you are and maybe who you want to be. If you die trying for something important, then you have both honor and courage, and that's pretty good. I think that's what the writer was saying, that you should hope for courage and try for honor. And maybe even pray that the people telling you what to do have some, too.

Leigh Anne Touhy: Now, y'all would guess that more often than not, the highest paid player on an NFL team is the quarterback. And you'd be right. But what you probably don't know is that more often than not, the second highest paid player is, thanks to Lawrence Taylor, a left tackle. Because, as every housewife knows, the first check you write is for the mortgage, but the second is for the insurance. The left tackle's job is to protect the quarterback from what he can't see coming. To protect his blind side.

source: 
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0878804/

selalu ada yang pertama

dalam hidup selalu ada yang pertama untuk segala hal. 

tangisan pertama bayi, langkah pertama, kata pertama, cinta pertama, ciuman pertama, sampai malam pertama....(dikosan sendirian setelah 17 tahun tidur di rumah hahaha)

bicara tentang pengalaman pertama, ada yang menarik untuk dituliskan. terutama karena yang pertama buat kita, belum tentu jadi yang pertama pula buat pihak lain. sehingga terkadang terjadi benturan nilai.

contohnya adalah sebagai berikut:

saat aku menikah, aku menyewa jasa WO. lucunya waktu lagi ngerias untuk pre wedding, itu ibu perias bilang gini....

"yah neng buat ibu mah ini teh pekerjaan hari-hari. tapi anehnya buat semua penganten ini teh pengalaman pertama dan berharap yang terakhir."

tuh,...kan. buat kita yang jadi penganten, hari pernikahan dan segala detailnya adalah saat yang paling sakral dan paling ditunggu. semuanya harus berjalan dengan sempurna sesuai rencana, karena ini adalah pengalaman pertama sekaligus diharapkan jadi yang terakhir. 

tapi bagi orang-orang yang bekerja di wedding organizer, hal itu adalah pekerjaan sehari-hari. sehingga mereka menganggapnya sebagai hal yang biasa, sebagai bagian dari rutinitas.

contoh berikutnya adalah ketika memasuki tahun ajaran baru. buat kami (aku) sebagai guru, tahun ajaran baru adalah bagian dari rutinitas kalender pendidikan yang lazim terjadi setiap tahun. tapi bagi para siswa dan orang tua, tahun ajaran baru bisa menjadi pengalaman pertama yang menyenangkan sekaligus menegangkan.

mulai dari memilih sekolah, mendaftar sekolah, sampai bingungnya kalau tidak diterima di sekolah yang diinginkan.

contoh lain lagi adalah ketika mengajar materi di kelas. bagi siswa, beberapa materi adalah baru. dan saat guru mengajarkannya di kelas, adalah menjadi saat dan pengalaman pertama mereka bersinggungan dengan materi tersebut. ada siswa yang langsung bisa mengerti dan memahami materi, tapi ada yang butuh waktu dan pendekatan lebih lama.

tapi bagi sang guru, mungkin ini adalah kali kesekian ratus nya dia mengajarkan materi yang sama meski di kelas yang berbeda. apalagi bagi guru yang telah mengajar sepanjang usiaku. tak heran jika di kelas kemudian terjadi benturan nilai. antara guru yang sudah sangat hapal dan mungkin bosan dengan materi yang diajarkan, dengan siswa yang masih penasaran karena baru kali ini belajar.

begitu pula ketika kita membuka rekening di bank.

bagi CS bank yang bersangkutan, kita adalah nasabah yang ke seribu limaratus duapuluh lima (lebay....) yang membuka rekening. tapi bagi kita, ini adalah kali pertama kita membuka rekening. dan layaknya kita sangat ingin dan berhak mendapatkan penjelasan sedetailnya dari mbak atau mas CS yang enak dipandang itu.

meskipun kita tahu, bagi para CS penjelasan terhadap nasabah baru adalah sebuah rutinitas yang bisa jadi membosankan.

dan masih banyak hal lainnya yang terjadi dalam kehidupan sehari-hari yang menjadi pengalaman pertama bagi kita tapi sudah menjadi rutinitas bagi orang lain. 

yang menjadi masalah adalah ketika benturan nilai yang terjadi terlalu besar sehingga menimbulkan konflik. 

ketika dua pihak yang berkepentingan tidak bisa saling memahami tetapi malah saling minta dipahami. repot jadinya.

bayangkan jika seorang CS bank meminta nasabah baru untuk membaca sendiri petunjuk pembukaan rekening dengan alasan mulutnya sudah capek dan bosan menjelaskan hal yang sama selama 366 hari :)

kemungkinan pertama, nasabah tidak jadi buka rekening, dan kedua sang CS langsung di SP3.

begitupun ketika seorang guru mengajar di kelas tanpa semangat karena sudah seperempat abad membawakan materi yang sama, sampai hapal dengan titik koma dan halaman bukunya. padahal yang akan beliau hadapi di kelas adalah anak-anak cemerlang penuh semangat yang bersiap menerima ilmu pada hari pertamanya belajar.

maka disitulah letak pentingnya pemahan semua pihak. 

sangat sulit dan mustahil rasanya jika kita meminta alam memahami kita.

tidak semua hal yang pertama bagi kita, juga pertama bagi orang lain. begitupun sebaliknya, hal yang buat kita adalah rutinitas bisa menjadi pengalaman pertama bagi orang lain.

*cobalah untuk memahami orang lain, baru setelah itu kita tahu rasanya dipahami ...

-dwizan-

love signs

cinta melulu

ya.....

seperti tak pernah bosan membahas hal yang satu ini :)

undangan pernikahan yang datang dari berbagai macam media, baik cetak maupun elektronik hehe

selain menginspirasi untuk membuat tulisan tentang pernikahan juga untuk menulis tentang C.I.N.T.A (pake nada lagu ...)

tema yang satu ini tak kan pernah habis dibahas. hampir seluruh hal dalam kehidupan bisa terjadi atas nama CINTA.

ada apa dengan cinta? (film kaleeee)

ratusan, ribuan, jutaan, bahkan milyaran karya telah diciptakan untuk mengabadikan kisah cinta di seluruh dunia.

karena begitulah cinta, deritanya tiada akhir (pat kai deh....)

aku adalah seorang penggemar cinta. hidup tanpa cinta bagaikan sayur tanpa garam, sendok tanpa garpu, piring tanpa nasi (ceritanya lagi makan di warteg hehehehe)

kegemaranku membaca novel, menonton film, hingga mendengarkan lagu-lagu bertema cinta sempat diprotes oleh ayah. katanya wasting time. mending baca ensiklopedi atau majalah politik, atau majalah bola, atau majalah otomotif. (ya...itu sih hobby beliau)

tapi jujur, aku adalah penggemar karya satra yang bertema cinta. aku juga suka menulis tentang cinta. kisah cinta dari yang klasik sampai yang modern selalu menarik untuk diketahui, ditanyakan, dan jawab (urutan kalo pas ulangan fisika...hehe)

seorang satrawan bernama S, berhasil menorehkan namanya dijajaran empu cinta. Tokoh-tokoh yang diciptakan bahkan begitu melegenda dan menjadi inspirasi milyaran manusia bumi, hingga ada yang nekad bunuh diri.

jejak-jejak cinta juga bisa ditemui di beberapa bangunan bersejarah dunia. semua orang dari mulai penguasa hingga rakyat jelata (jelek dan menderita :) berlomba-lomba untuk meninggalkan jejak cintanya agar bisa ditapaki oleh sang kekasih tercinta.

sejak kecil, kita sudah dipenuhi dengan kisah cinta yang happy ending ....and finally they live happily ever after....

ketika remaja kita tahu ada kisah cinta yang memiliki sad endings.

saat sudah menikah, kita mulai menemukan kisah cinta yang memberikan pertanyaan rumit seperti ....bagaimana jika kau menemukan cinta sejatimu setelah kau menikah???......

cinta, love, amore....

dari semua kisah cinta yang pernah dituturkan pasti ada satu yang menjadi favorit kita. begitupun aku.

selama ini aku senang melahap berbagai kisah cinta, baik dari tokoh fiksi maupun non fiksi. dan beberapa kali

sempat tercetus kekaguman betapa indahnya cinta mereka.

sempat bergumam betapa kuatnya cinta yang menyatukan mereka.

sempat terpikirkan seandainya aku memiliki kisah seperti mereka.

seandainya....seandainya.....dan seandainya....

hingga akhirnya aku menemukan sebaris kalimat dari trailer film cinta "letters to juliet"

......the greatest love story ever told is your own.....

sebaris kalimat yang membuatku tersadar betapa aku selama ini begitu terfokus kepada mereka, kepada seandainya.... bukan kepadaku, kepada kami, kepada kenyataan...

ya, sebuah penyadaran yang menyenangkan. bahwa kisah mereka, seberapapun indahnya hanya akan menjadi mereka. bukan aku.

hanya bisa dinikmati sebagai cemilan, bukan hidangan pokok.

yang menjadi inti adalah aku. hidupku, cintaku.

jadi, sudahkah menikmati cinta yang kita miliki, sudahkah bersyukur atas segala cinta yang kita rasakan, jika belum...ayo kita mulai saat ini juga.

mencintai, dicintai....

diri sendiri. 

how can others love you...if you don't love yourself?

those love stories are trully inspiring, but the only inspiration lays within you.

i love you cinta.....

-dwizan-

why marry too?

well,...

marriage is in the air. especially during this certain time of the year which considered to be the good (best) time to get married. -musim kawin-

previously i've posted the reasons why people get married. and now, i'm going to post some random thoughts about marriage.

in the place where i live now, marriage remains popular and successful. 

despite the fact that divorce rate is increasing.

1#

most people get married because they're in love....sooo deeply in love..... madly in love to each other.

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."

Mignon McLaughlin

2#

people get married because God says we should be married.

the statistic shows that marriage last longer in more religious couples.

3#

"People do not consider getting married until they have certain things in place. Very often they wait 'til they've finished their education, until they have a steady, predictable job," said Fraeya Sonenstein, director of the Population Study Center at the Urban Institute. "People hold marriage in very high esteem - such high esteem that it may be unattainable." 

4#

statistics shows 230% likelihood of both members of married couple being obese, compared with dating partners.

new study links domestic blish to serious weight gain. i.e the old expression, "we're fat and happy"

5#

Broken marriages don't always lead to divorce. Sticking to a marriage is important and divorce is bad.

"A lot of young people focus on right now, and if I'm not happy right now, I should get divorced," said Wachs, author of "Relationships for Dummies." Older people have more life experience and realize "if I hang in there, it will probably get better."

6#

Researchers find that the married have lower death rates, even after taking initial health status into account. Even sick people who marry live longer than their counterparts who don't.Marriage is also better for your health because married people take more responsibility for one another even than those who cohabit. They nag each other more, remind their partners of appointments and take care of each other when sick. Marriage also generally reduces stress and boosts the immune system.

7#

marriage is a public statement of exclusive dedication.

marriage is not just a piece of paper. it is a promise to live together faithfully, till death, through thick and thin, sickness and health, and it is the benefit to the children who are raised in it. marriage is a blessing from God.

8#

prenuptial agreement is only one of signs that you are uncertain about the person you're marrying.

your choice is either finding another person or committing to the vow.

*are you happy being married?

_dwizan_

why marry?

been married for almost two years now.

been attending countless wedding ceremony.

been helping friends and relatives on their marriage stuffs.

been self struggling for what so called a happy marriage and still sane :)

so, why do people get married?

why marry?

here are whys.....

Good reasons to marry

Because you're in love. Although love shouldn't be the only reason to marry, it's an important ingredient in the most successful relationships.

To make a commitment. You've decided that you want to be together forever, knowing each other's faults and failings.

It's part of your culture. The ceremony of marriage is an integral part of your cultural or religious beliefs and an essential part of your core value system.

To start a family. You've both enjoyed a secure and committed relationship for some time and feel marriage is the best environment in which to bring up children.

To celebrate. Because you want your family and friends to share with you in your happiness and commitment as a couple.

It's the right time. You have a solid and secure relationship and it feels like the logical next step.

 

Bad reasons to marry

To make your relationship secure. If your relationship isn't secure before you marry, there's no reason to think it will be afterwards. It may be harder for you to separate after marriage, but that doesn't mean you'll be happy.

Fear of being alone. Some people marry because they're scared that no one else will have them. Remember, it's better to be left on the shelf than spend your whole life in the wrong cupboard.

For the children. It's true that, on the whole, children benefit from living with two parents, but marrying purely for your child is unlikely to create a happy home environment.

You want a big wedding. The big white wedding may seem like a fairy tale come true, but it only lasts a day. Marriage is (supposed to be) for life.

To recover from divorce. Some people want a second marriage to help them to get over the first - to prove that they're OK. But those feelings must come from within.

You may have many more reasons why you want to marry. The most important thing is that you and your partner have fully discussed your reasons and that you're both confident you share the same motivation and intentions.

 

Fears and expectations

As well as looking at your reasons for getting married it's important to look at what you expect from married life. Some people blame current divorce rates on the fact that people expect too much from marriage, but this isn't necessarily the case.

As long as you both share the same expectations, you can work together to achieve them. But if you both expect different things, one of you will always be disappointed.

Your expectations and fears may be influenced by many things, including experiences of friends, previous relationships and media images. But one of the most powerful influences will be your family.

As small children we learn about relationships by watching our parents. These messages often sink deep into our unconscious mind, waiting to pop up when we become wives or husbands ourselves.

It's perfectly natural to have doubts and fears about getting married - it's one of the biggest decisions we make in our lives. But as long as you and your partner can openly share your feelings, support and reassure each other, chances are you're on the right track.

*would you marry?

-dwizan-

retrieved from: http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/couples/life_whymarry.shtml